


7 and 1/2 Steps to Save Joseph Christiansen

by countfuckingcrouton



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13975356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countfuckingcrouton/pseuds/countfuckingcrouton
Summary: Something's wrong with Maple Bay's favorite youth minister, Joseph Christiansen. Suspecting that something supernatural and potentially life-threatening is afoot, Damien, Robert, Mary, and Lucius must band together to solve the mystery and save Joseph in 7 and 1/2 easy steps.





	7 and 1/2 Steps to Save Joseph Christiansen

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is a story about the Dream Daddy hidden ending (I know, shocker) that I think you will enjoy! If you like mystery, humor, romance, and gay dads- give it a read and let me know what you think! Happy reading!

“Some strange event is afoot.”  
“Huh?” I break away from staring down one of Damien’s many gargoyles. The same one I almost broke that one time. I think it remembers.  
“Some strange event is afoot,” Damien repeats. He’s staring intensely into a hedge; his dark brows are furrowed with concentration.  
“With the hedge?” I ask, following his line of sight.  
“With Joseph,” Damien replies. I can hear an ominous clap of thunder from the open door to the living room. Lucien must be watching something on TV. Damien turns to look at me with those stupidly beautiful eyes of his.  
I wonder what Joseph has to do with the hedge. “He seems fine to me,” I say. I think back to the last time I saw him; it was only this morning. He was mowing his lawn as per usual.  
“It seems to me that Joseph is under the weather as of late. In our most recent encounters, I have noticed he looks rather paler than usual,” Damien says, folding his fingers beneath his chin steeple-style.  
I think it’s rich for Damien to be calling anyone pale, but I nod along. “You mean… paler than normal?” I venture.  
“Yes, normally Joseph is possessed of a rather warm tone, but each time I encounter him he looks more and more ghostly,” Damien replies. His brows are pinched together with worry.  
I place my hand gently over his and squeeze. “Hey, if you really think something’s wrong, then we’ll do something about it. Do you want to ask him to dinner?” I ask. I reach up and touch his cheek, bronze fingers against pale skin. “I hate to see you so worried.”  
He leans into my touch, letting his soft eyes flutter shut for a moment. God, I love this man. “Lucius… your love for me knows no bounds,” he whispers.  
“Yeah, it really doesn’t,” I reply. I stand up and offer my hand to Damien. “Come on. Let’s go check on Joseph.”  
He places his perfectly manicured hand in mine, and I pull him to his feet. Hand in hand, we walk back through the gardens towards the house. I stop at a small flower patch of vibrant orange lilies.  
“Hey, these are the flowers you showed me on our first date,” I say, sinking to a knee.  
“They represent pure hatred,” he reminds me lightly.   
“Well, to me, they symbolize new beginnings and love,” I chuckle. I pluck one and straighten up.  
Damien looks amused. I tuck the flower behind his ear with a smile.  
“So the Victorians can take it up with me,” I tell him.  
He smiles despite himself. “Maybe flower language needs an updated dictionary,” he allows.  
We cut back through the house and say goodbye to Lucien who is reading dirty fanfiction with a gory horror movie on in the background. I notice Damien forcefully avert his eyes from the TV. Well, they can’t be too similar, I suppose. Damien taps Lucien’s shoulder lightly. Lucien pushes off his headphones, exposing us all to Gerard Way’s artisanal wailing.  
“Lucien, Lucius and I are going out for a little while,” Damien tells him gently.  
“Have fun,” Lucien replies. So blunt.  
Damien sighs as his son puts his headphones back on. As much as I miss Amanda off at college, I’m glad to be without all the teenage rebellion.   
I push open the front door and fondly remember our first encounter. The way it creaked open all by itself really spooked to me. I’ll never admit it, but I really thought Damien was an honest to God vampire. Ha. As if Maple Bay has creatures of the night. Damien locks the door behind him and the keys disappear into his cloak.  
I offer him my arm like an old-timey gentleman. “Shall we, my lord?” I ask in a poor imitation of an aristocrat.  
His lips twitch and he slips an arm through mine. We start down the cul-de-sac, passing by Robert’s house. It looks deserted. At last, we make it to Joseph’s house. He’s standing on the porch, staring blankly out as if he doesn’t really see anything. A slight breeze ruffles his hair. Damien gives me a look.  
“Hey, Joseph…” I say tentatively, crossing the lawn to him. Damn, Damien was right. He does look pale.   
Joseph starts at the sound of his own name. He turns his pale blue eyes onto me. Good God, those are some massive eye bags.   
“Lucius! Damien! How are you?” he exclaims, smiling brightly.  
“Uh… I think you might need to ask yourself that. You don’t look so good,” I say, putting a hand gently on his forearm.  
Joseph laughs. “Nonsense, Lucius! I’m just a little tired from staying up to plan the next youth mixer,” he says easily. He claps his hand together. “Now, what can I do for you today?”  
“We were wondering if you would do us the honor of joining us at our home for dinner,” Damien interrupts. He can sense my unease, the damn hero.  
“That sounds great! Thanks, neighbor!” he exclaims, beaming at us. His smile lookes a little strained.  
“Is six o’clock an acceptable time?” Damien continues pleasantly.  
“Six sounds great. I’ll call a babysitter for the kids,” he tells us.  
I wonder vaguely why Mary can’t watch the kids.  
“Wonderful. We will see you then,” Damien replies. He bows and tugs me back down the path towards the street.   
Joseph waves to us from the porch. “See you soon, neighbor!” he calls.  
“Okay. You were right. It looks like something’s up,” I whisper.  
Damien shoots me a concerned look. “Those shadows… they do not bode well,” he whispers.  
I walk back to the house, mind reeling with questions and worry.  
Six o’clock comes in a rush of cooking and ordering take-out. Damien’s a decent cook, but he’s not up to some of the more complicated dishes. I’m more of a hindrance than a help, so I resign myself to watching a touching documentary on emo fashion with Lucien.  
I jump as the sound of the knocker hitting the door reverberates through the house. Damien pokes his head out of the kitchen.  
“Can you get the door, my love?” he asks, pushing back his dark hair.  
“Yeah, I got it,” I say, rising from the couch. I walk to the door and pull it open. My hands aren’t too steady. Must be the side effect of all that emo fashion.  
“Hey neighbor!” Joseph exclaims, beaming. The fading sunlight throws his exhausted face into sharp relief. I wince, but he looks happy enough.  
“Hey, Joseph. Come on in,” I say, stepping aside for him to enter.  
“I brought brownies and wine; I hope that’s okay,” Joseph says, laughing sheepishly.  
“Did you use the box recipe?” I tease, thinking of our first time together.  
He stares at me for a long moment. “Yes I,- oh. Oh!” he exclaims as he remembers. He laughs. “I remember that! That was great fun,” he says. He claps me on the back, still chuckling.  
I close the door and breath a little easier. He seems like his normal self. Maybe I was just worried for no good reason. Damien comes out of the kitchen, pulling his dark hair out of its ponytail. It falls gracefully onto his shoulders. I’m so in love with him.  
“Greetings, Joseph. It is such a great pleasure to have you in our home,” he says gently.  
Joseph shakes Damien’s hand with a warm smile. “Thank you very much. It’s great to be here,” he replies.  
I watch Lucien slink off to his room. Kid’s got the right idea. Dinner parties always make me nervous.  
“Lucius, can you show Joseph to the dining room? I’ll be right out with the food,” Damien asks. He kisses my cheek in bribery.  
I smile. “I’ll try not to get lost,” I tease.  
Damien puffs out his cheeks. “You’ve lived here for six months, Lucius.”  
I shrug as I back into the hall. “This place is a maze,” I laugh.  
Joseph follows me. I can see him examining the walls. Looks like the house passes the test. “It’s lovely,” Joseph tells me. He runs his hand along the dark wood with a small smile.   
“Thank you,” I say, sitting down across from him. “So, how’s the wife and kids?”  
I instantly regret it. Joseph looks away uncomfortably. “Good, good. I think Mary went out with… Robert again tonight. Y’know, Saturday night. Fresh air,” he says. He’s looking anywhere but my face.  
Get off the topic now, Lucius. Quick! “Uh… you told me you were planning another youth mixer, right? Think I can help out again?” I ask.  
He brightens instantly. “Ah, yes! End of school party. Thought we’d go into summer with some good choices,” he says.  
“Can you believe it’s been over a year since ‘Jesus is Calming’?” I ask, leaning back in my chair.  
He laughs. “You’re right! That was February last year, right?” he asks, grinning.  
I furrow my brow. “I thought it was in March because you didn’t want the kids out on St. Patrick’s Day,” I remark.  
“Yes, you’re right! Haha, Dad-brain, I guess,” Joseph chuckles.  
Damien comes bustling in with several platters of steaming food. He sets them down on little hot mats before dropping into his seat at the head of the table. “My apologies for the wait. I had to reheat the rolls,” he says a little out of breath. The rolls I bought from the grocery store because neither of us know how to make bread. Damien and I both look over at Joseph.  
Is he going to pray? Do we need to pray? Is he going to pray at us and we just have to sit there awkwardly while he thanks Jesus?  
“You guys go ahead and start,” Joseph says with a smile.  
Oh thank God. Oh shit. Did I just pray? Woah. Damien and I start to eat while Joseph prays quietly to himself.   
“So, Damien. How’s the animal shelter? Mary really enjoys her time there,” Joseph asks.  
“Ah, well! We got some new blankets and light fixtures, so it looks a lot nicer inside. We’re going to refurbish the waiting room next,” Damien says. His whole aspect changes when he talks about his shelter. His eyes are so bright. I love this man.   
“That sounds great. I’ve been thinking about getting a dog for the kids. They might really enjoy that,” Joseph says.  
“I can show you around sometime. We could look for a nice family dog,” Damien suggests brightly.   
“That sounds great,” Joseph replies. He gives Damien a warm smile.  
Damien’s face breaks into a beam and he turns to me. He gives me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and stands up. “I’m going to go get the pie. Can you keep Joseph occupied while I’m gone?” he asks.  
“Probably only with dad jokes and stories about Amanda,” I tell him with a grin.  
Damien shakes his head and retreats to the hallway for the pie. I turn back to Joseph.  
“So, how’s the minister-ing going?” I ask.  
“Oh it’s going well! I think having a dog has been really helpful for Ernest. He’s actually getting Cs in his classes now. He’s… easier to reach,” Joseph says, placing a hand over his heart.  
“That’s really great, Joseph. No more rude banners?” I ask jokingly.  
Joseph begins to laugh. It’s high. Cold. He clutches his heart, laughing like a maniac. His eyes roll back into his head and he just laughs.  
“Joseph?! Joseph what’s wrong?” I exclaim, scrambling back from the table. The chair tips and falls, throwing me sprawling to the floor. I jump to my feet. Joseph’s pale eyes are wide and staring as the laughter dies in his throat. He looks scared.  
“Joseph…?” I ask tentatively, taking a step forward.  
Without warning, he slumps forward onto the table.  
“Holy shit,” I mutter. I rush to his side and shake him feverishly. He doesn’t move.  
I hear the sound of china shattering against wood and look up. Damien is standing in the doorway with a broken pie plate at his feet. Red pie filling covers his shiny shoes like blood.  
“What in heaven’s name happened?” Damien gasps.  
“I don’t know! He just started laughing like a crazy person and then passed out!” I exclaim. I shake Joseph’s shoulder again.  
A groan escapes Joseph’s lips and he opens his eyes.  
“Joseph! Are you okay?!” I implore, dropping to a knee beside him.   
He turns to look at me, but his eyes are unfocused. “What… where am I?” he murmurs. He furrows his blonde brows. “Lucius?”  
“Yeah, it’s me. You came to Damien and my house, remember? For dinner?” I ask gently.  
His blue eyes widen. “I… I have to go. I’m sorry.” Without a second glance, he rushes out. I hear the door slam behind him.  
I turn to Damien. “Something is definitely wrong.”


End file.
